Back to School: Emotional Wellness for our kids!

Man – it’s just about 3 weeks of being back into school and it feels like we’ve been there for weeks on end! Anyone else feeling the same?

So, in an earlier blog I spoke about the importance of nourishing their bodies with REAL food for fuel, well, we also need to nourish their souls and emotional well-being – equally as important.

In psychology it is believed that we have determined our identity and belief system by the age of 7! So as adults we are living with either empowering or self sabotaging belief systems that have been ingrained into our psyche before we are even able to understand what they mean – this is a huge concept so sit with this for a little and really grasp it.

When I first learned this – I panicked as I thought I’ve missed the boat on one kid and am just about to miss it with the other – talk about pressure like we don’t have enough of it today in the modern world.

Thankfully the boat is never missed when you are open to the evolution of learning and becoming your best self, and ultimately the best teacher to our kids. It’s about being self aware and course correcting CONSTANTLY.

With this in mind, how can we as mum’s enable the emotional well-being of our kids?

On a practical level:

• Nutrition – this is key and essential to fuel the body with nutrients to give it any hope of functioning optimally, not to mention core functionality of the cells & the brain. Many mental ailments and conditions can be the symptom of nutritional deficiencies
• Sleep – This is when the body is performing it’s biggest role of repairing and healing. Therefore crucial that they get age appropriate volume of sleep. Sleep is also essential for the immune system and emotional resilience.
• Water – They need water and plenty of it. Not only is water essential for the brain and the nervous system (the brain is made of over 75% water), but just the smallest drop of hydration within the body can lead to a drop in energy & mood levels
• Exercise to release all the happy hormones

7 recommendations/suggestions to manage their emotional wellness:

1. Help them feel loved, secure and confident. Talk to them in THEIR love language. You read more about that here.
2. Help them to identify their feelings as best they can, if possible why they feel that way or what’s behind the feeling. Here is a great tool I found online to help you, help them identify their emotions. This truly is half the battle
3. Equip them with tools to help manage the emotions and feelings such as:
   • Deep breathes when in a heightened state of emotion – resets the nervous system
   • If they are old enough, I'd say from age 7 – get them to write on paper how they are feeling and why. In neuroscience this is believed to help relief the emotional charge on a situation
   • Use tools such as EFT, otherwise known as tapping. More info on this here.
4. Help them to recognise the power of the little voice in their heads, also known as self-talk and how this can either empower their world or could be the slowest form of torture
5. Teach them to show gratitude EVERY SINGLE day. This is non negotiable in my household. It’s amazing what they come up with when they are stuck for something. Some of the answers just melts my heart
6. Get them in a mindfulness practice daily. This does not mean that they are sitting and meditating in a corner saying “Om” for 20 minutes, but helping them become aware of the present moment. Examples are:
   • Using an app to do a guided breathing exercise for 3-5 minutes. I really like Smiling Mind or Headspace, easily downloaded from the App store.
   • Colouring in, even better you if do it with them - this has to be one of my favourites
   • Sitting quietly in a nature, feet on the grass and recognise the sounds and surroundings, again only needs to be a few minutes
   • Engage them in any activity they truly enjoy and help them recognise moments of joy during that activity
7. Lastly, but more importantly – this may sting a little, but YOU become emotionally resilient and learn the tools how to do this, then you can be an EFFECTIVE teacher. Our kids learn by what we DO, NOT by what we SAY. They will model what they see being practiced. So the key here is to become very self aware yourself. This is not easy, but so worth it!

The above list not exhaustive, but just a small snippet of some strategies to help build emotional resilience and wellness for our children, especially in the age we are currently in.

Adjuncts to promoting emotional wellness

The below list serves as examples of adjunct therapies that can assist the promotion of emotional wellness. I do not believe that any one of these should be used in isolation or be seen as the magic bullet to fixing a symptom, but rather as an addition to the fundamentals listed above in the practical section:

• Essential Oils
• Massage
• Chiropractic or Osteopathic treatment
• Bush Flower essence
• Homeopathics
• Kinesiology

If you are concerned for the emotional well-being for your child, then please seek additional help and guidance from a qualified practitioner.

Chantal is a Certified Nutrition & Wellness Coach with a special interest in helping families implement Gut Healing Nutritional Protocols using a proven step by step wholistic approach to improve the health of their family.

The Lessons I Learnt during 2017

As I start to wind down from what has been a challenging yet rewarding 2017, I wanted to reflect on the year that saw so much personal growth for me and the lessons I learnt along the way and how I want to enter 2018.

I've had my own coaches and mentors this year and they have been priceless as they've guided me through not only my professional journey, but that of self too.

Here are some the lessons that stood out for me and in no particular order:

1. Find the gold in EVERY challenging situation

Always find the rainbow...

I've come to know and understand that in EVERY challenging situation, there is a golden lesson and a rainbow. We just need to be present enough to see it. We need to keep the faith and belief that we are protected and everything will work out the way it should. This lesson was by no means easy, but this mindset is what kept me going plenty of times in the face of wanting to give up or succumb to a victim mentality.

2. Great health is soooo much more than just the food we eat

I've said this numerous times that nutrition is pivitol and synergistic for good health, but this is only one piece of the puzzle. You are truly misguided if you think that there is NO impact for choosing to eat good food 80-90% of the time. There will be consequences, if not now, down the track, especially for our kids who are already in a health epidemic according to the World Health Organisation. Yours like mine, are already part of the statistic, however it CAN be turned around, IF you choose to. So there really is no argument whether we need to eat wholefood to experience good physical health. As Nike says - JUST DO IT! However, optimum health is truly a wholistic approach of mind & body and true health cannot be experienced without the balance of these 2. Our mental and emotional state matters just as much to our health as does our physical state. This has become abundantly clear to me this year and probably would not have believed it until I experienced it myself. I am grateful, that I am open and teachable

3. Be who you are unapologetically

I'm not going to lie to you, being in this space is incredibly difficult for me and not to mention so far out of my comfort zone, I cannot even begin to tell you. It has taken a while and much soul searching to understand who am I in this space. If I'm honest I was trying to be someone I'm not because I wanted to be liked, after all who doesn't want to be liked? But this has felt very much out of alignment and I've come to realise that it is OK to be me and that some people may not like that, and I'm OK with that too. I am pretty much a no nonsense, no BS, straight to the point type of person (with love and compassion) who is immensely passionate about empowering and supporting one family at a time to eat one HEALING wholefood at a time to break this vicious health epidemic we are in.

Be who you are and don't apologise for it. You are perfect just the way you are and rock it - there is no one like you and you are by no means flawed.

4. We are so much more in control of our destiny than we think we are

There is not much in this human experience that we can control, but what we can control is what matters the most and can determine our outcome:

• The food we choose to eat - ALL in our control

• The thoughts to we CHOOSE to think - ALL in our control

• The actions CHOOSE to do or not do - ALL in our control

Focus on what you CAN control and let the rest go. There is actually so much choice that we do have

5. The art of letting go and surrendering

This ties in with the above and lesson and was not an easy lesson for me to learn this year. As a recovering control freak, I was very much attached to an outcome and devastated when it was not achieved. This caused so much unnecessary angst. My own mentors kept telling me, to let it go, but I refused until I got smacked so many times, I finally decided to listen....what a concept! It has actually been so freeing to practise this mindset the second part of the year. I am now a firm believer of "What will be, will be"

6. The work is in the rest

My mentors told me. Yep, sure I know what you mean. Upon further thinking, I was like, no actually I don't know what you mean. Eventually I came to understand that we need to STOP from time to time and just be and become present, ideally daily and multiple times during the day. It is during these REST breaks that our best work is done, i.e. answers to life's questions (your subconscious is talking to you ALL of the time, but you need to be in state to hear it), your creativity flows and solutions to problems show up. Neuroscience tells us that the brain needs to reset often during the day, it likes specific tasks. This is how I decided take this information on board and rest everyday:

• I have a golden hour (ideal) or golden what ever time I get before the family wakes for the day. This has truly become non negotiable for me and has made a massive difference to my mindset for the rest of the day, not to mention the flow on effect for the rest of the family. I use this time to exercise, meditate, reflect, read etc. If for whatever reason I cannot get my full hour, I use the time I do have and do what I feel will best serve me that day. This is not easy or convenient, but then again, nothing worthwhile is. I am prepared to sacrifice some sleep for inner peace. It is so worth it!

• I have a timer set on my phone that rings every hour. I use this 30 seconds to one minute to regroup, refocus and make sure I'm on track to get done what needs to get done in a peaceful and calming manner for the rest of the day.

These small consistent tweaks have made a massive difference to my mindset, productivity and energy during the day, which has resulted in a much calmer household....most of the time! It has also meant that when I do slump, I bounce back that much quicker because of the new level of awareness of self.

Reflecting on all of the above lessons, I have so much gratitude for what I've learnt as I know I'm not the same person I was at the start of 2017. The words I choose for 2018 are flow and ease taking the above lessons into account and how I even further connect to self and do what makes my heart sing.

What lessons have showed up for you in 2017 and how have you decided to enter 2018? I'd love to know....

On that note, I will be taking a much needed rest break myself and spent quality present time with my family.

Lots of love Chantal XO

4 Steps to Fill Up Your Child's Love Tank

So I am all about the food, but it's not all about the food. Have I confused you on the first sentence??

Let me explain myself. I believe with ALL my being that there is absolutely no substitute for eating a wholefood diet, NOTHING. To me, its job done, non negotiable and so I ask what is next to live a vibrant extraordinary life ?

To be truly healthy as described in this blog, you need the balance of both physical & emotional/mental health, so it’s equally important to be emotionally intelligent and physically healthy. This couldn’t be truer for our children today who are living in such a fast paced technology driven world who are experiencing unacceptable levels of anxiety.

 In my humblest opinion, it’s our job as parents to make our children feel loved, secured, confident and empowered and we primarily do this by filling up their love tank in a language they understand. After all, to feel loved is a primary human emotional need.

So let me introduce you to the concept of the 5 Love Languages.

I first became aware of this concept a number years ago when I started to take an interest in personal development. It was ONE of the BEST books I have ever read and believe that EVERY couple should receive a copy of this at pre-marriage counselling. Anyways, that is a topic for another day :-)

So the 5 love languages are different ways that people or children need to be communicated to in order to feel loved. There are 5 of these love languages and you would typically have 2 dominant ones that you need, a primary and secondary.

Let me tell you from personal experience in relationships with my husband, children and immediate family that this is GOLDEN. When you understand what their love language is and you communicate to them in the way that they WANT you to, you form the most beautiful bond and your relationship just goes to another level.

The Five Love Languages

1.       Words of Affirmation:

This refers to verbal compliments or words of appreciation. These are best expressed in simple sentences and obviously need to be sincere. Here are some examples:

• I love the effort you put into you that project

• I love you

• I really appreciate you helping me fold the washing

• You are so good at colouring in between the lines

• I love that you made a good judgment in X situation

• I love your smile

2.       Quality time:

This is quite self explanatory and literally means to give someone your undivided time and attention for a period of time. This all about being present and even better if you can initiate the time spent together

3.       Receiving Gifts:

A gift is something you hold in your hand and say “here I was thinking of you” It doesn’t have to cost anything. Gifts are just visual symbols of love. Examples of insignificant gifts are:

• Stickers

• Reading books

• Colouring in

• Their favourite game

• A T-shirt with their favourite character

• Stationary with their favourite characters

4.       Acts of Service:

This is all about having things done for them, not because they are lazy or can’t be bothered doing it themselves, but because they enjoy being looked after. Obviously you know when the mick is being taken :-). Examples are:

• Cooking their favourite food

• Filling up their water bottle for them when they could have done it themselves

• Putting the toothpaste on their toothbrush before they ask

5.       Physical Touch:

In the world of psychology, touch is known as a form of expressing emotional love. That may just mean things such as:

• Touching them whilst talking to them

• Giving them a back rub

• Random Hugs

• Offer to massage

Putting this into practice, I’ll give you examples of my two munchkins:

Son

He has 2 predominant love languages, that is Quality time and Gifts. This was very evident since he was a toddler. He just always wanted to be belly to belly, eyeball to eyeball He just loves spending time together doing exactly what HE wants. We could spend all day together at an outing or event, but within minutes of being home, if his needs were not satisfied, he would request to play a game such as uno, chess, lego etc. That's him expressing that he has not received enough 1:1 time. Sometimes that need is as little as 10 minutes to fill up the tank, it's all about the quality, not quantity...most of the time :-)

He also LOVES receiving gifts. This was and still is an easy one to use in a reward based system.

If I was to shower him with hugs (physical touch), he would get really annoyed, so I learned very quickly not to take this personally.

Daughter:

Her 2 dominant love languages are Physical Touch and Acts of service. As a baby, toddler and even now, she absolutely loved being held and cuddled. In fact, when she did something wrong, coming to give you a hug was the first thing she wanted to do, it was also her way of saying sorry. She adores being stroked and sitting on the couch having a cuddle watching her favourite show together.

She also really enjoys things being done for her such as, in the morning helping her put her gown or slippers on and will actually get quite upset if I forget. She is fiercely independent but loves to have little things done for her of HER choice.

How to do it?

Step 1 – Observe their spoken words and actions to determine their primary and secondary love language. You could even take a quiz here to help you identify their dominant love language.

Step 2 – Communicate to them in their desired love language, not yours. Be careful of this trap.

Step 3 – Watch them thrive emotionally

Step 4 – Repeat. As our needs and desires as adults change overtime, theirs will too, so it’s all about staying observant, flexible and adaptable.

I hope that gives a little insight into the 5 love language. I cannot encourage you enough to identify your loved ones love language and just watch them soar and thrive emotionally.

Chantal XX

If you are wanting to address your health or that of your family using nutrition & wellness principles, do not hesitate schedule your FREE Health Mapping Session here or here

Chantal is a Certified Nutrition & Wellness Coach that specialises in helping stressed and overwhelmed mums heal their children with wholefoods using a personalised wholistic step by step approach.

What is a Nutrition & Wellness Coach

I used to get these perplexed looking faces when I answered the question “What do you do?” or “What is it you are studying?

I could see on their faces that they had absolutely NO idea what I was talking about, and I get that, I wouldn’t have either until I started searching what I could do with my passion & love of eating wholesome healing foods.

 I desperately wanted to shout out from the roof tops what a difference it made to our family’s health and well-being and knew that if other families knew this information, they too could be encouraged to make small progress steps towards a wholefood/healing way of eating and experience abundant health.

That’s when I found the term a health coach or nutrition coach.

So, let’s delve a little deeper into what exactly a health coach is!

According to Wellness Coaches US, coaching is defined as;

“A close relationship & partnership with a coach, providing the structure, accountability, expertise and inspiration, to enable a person to learn, grow and develop beyond what he or she can do on its own”

A health & wellness coach focuses on mental & physical behaviours relating to nutrition, exercise & stress management. In my case, the focus is that of gut health and emotional well-being from a truly wholistic point of view.

It has also been defined that successful coaching takes place when coaches apply clearly defined knowledge and skills so that clients can draw upon internal strengths and external resources to make the necessary sustainable changes needed.

Any change in behaviour starts in the mind! It has been my experience that one of the biggest hurdles to overcome is clients believing in themselves & lacking confidence in their ability to actually make the changes they need to make.

“People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they themselves have discovered than those that have to come to the mind in other”

Pascal Penses

Love this quote because it embodies what a successful coach is. That is, empowering the client so that they can come up with their own solutions rather than it spoon fed to them. It has also been proven that this idea promotes a longer sustainable change as the client will then take responsibility for making the necessary changes.

A nutrition & wellness coach does NOT diagnose or prescribe. This is the role of a qualified health practitioner.

In Summary, a health coach empowers and provides a line of questioning which is designed to help the client discover, dream, design & identify their strengths and potential solutions. The responsibility for initiating change lies with the client.

 The coach provides the structure, goal setting & accountability. The aim of coaching is to generate self awareness & empower the client to take responsibility for change.

If you need help with you or your child’s gut healing journey, book in for a free 15 minute call, email me or check out my work with me page to see if one of my programs are a suitable fit for you.

Chantal is a Certified Nutrition & Wellness Coach who specialises in working with stressed and overwhelmed mothers of immune & digestive challenged children to heal their child’ gut by implementing a wholistic personalised step by step plan.